Dear Fellow Siblings of someone with special needs...

Dear fellow siblings of someone who has special needs,

I myself am also a sibling of special needs. My younger sister, Megin, is nonverbal and has multiple disabilities but not a diagnosis. I love my sister more than anything in the world but that doesn’t mean that it is always easy to be her sister. I don’t know what it is like to be your siblings sibling just like others don’t know what it is like to be my sister's sister. But as siblings of someone with special needs we can all relate to each other more than other people can.

Our lives aren’t easy and it is perfectly normal and okay to feel like our life is hard and at times wish it was easier. Sometimes I wish that my sister didn’t have special needs and that she could play with me, do chores like me, and talk, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. It isn’t easy when our siblings throw fits even when they are eleven years old. And it certainly isn’t easy when our siblings are in the hospital, I am lucky my sister doesn’t spend a lot of time in the hospital, but I have spent Christmas at the hospital before and she has spent many birthdays in the hospital.

It is okay to feel jealous of other people's lives because they have typical siblings. I know I have felt that way before. And it isn’t because I don’t like my sister or wish she wasn’t my sister, but that it can be hard to be her sister. People look at her weird and make fun of her and that hurts me as her sister as I am sure it hurts other siblings when it happens to their siblings. She uses a talker because she can’t speak and people make fun of that too. She doesn’t always understand when people look at her weird but I do, and I do my best to not let people hurt her but I can’t be by her side all the time. And sometimes it seems like my name might as well be Megin’s sister. I am Megin’s sister and you are your siblings sibling but that is not all we are and that can be hard for us as siblings I know. Yes, we are a big part of our siblings life and we love them very much but that is not all we are. We are members of teams, musical instrument players, volunteers, friends, pet owners, and many other things.

It can be hard to be us sometimes, but we are also extremely lucky. We get to have experiences that kids with typical siblings don’t get. I have an extremely close bond with my sister,  she trusts me and I am like her personal translator. I can know exactly what she needs when other people can’t. I’ve gotten to see her through big milestones, like when she got her g-tube out. People with typical siblings probably won’t see their siblings through milestones like that. As siblings we get to see all the milestones our siblings reach even if they are simple. We are our siblings biggest protectors. We also are accepting, and kind. My sister has shaped me and my life in so many ways and many that I don’t even know yet. Without her I may have never been able to know how to make the great connections and friendships I have with some of my friends with disabilities. I may have never decided that I want to become a special ed teacher because I would have never had interactions with them and seen what amazing differences they can make in people like my sister's life.

Overall, all of us siblings know it isn’t easy, and that’s just is the way it is. However, I feel extremely lucky that I get to be my sister’s sister because she is amazing and the best sister I could ever have. She has taught me so many things and impacted my life in amazing ways. Other people may not always be able to relate to what I am going through, but that is okay. My sister is awesome and as siblings we all know that our siblings rock no matter what. It is okay to feel the way we feel, the not great feelings, and the amazing feelings.

From,

A special needs sibling just like you